Wednesday, September 12, 2007

There's a Title Here Underneath All This Spit

While I am aware that stereotypes are a sweeping generalization and can by no means account for the behaviour of every person within whichever particular social group they pertain to... oh, fuck it. On with the hate.

OK. The first group of people I would like to lambast are the bastard children that frequent the store I work in. Ireallyfuckinghatethem! Given two weeks and immunity from prosecution I could guarantee that no child would ever again set foot in the store for the duration of my employment unless;

a) they are prepared to spend the rest of their foul existences in a wheelchair
b) they want to lose their putrescent teeth
c) they want to speak only in vowels
d) all of the above

I think d is my favourite. Where the locals are concerned, however, the only difference you'd notice would be the wheelchair.

The second group are the bastards on my street. When I was wee, this street and the whole estate was a good place to live. For the most part we left the other residents alone, we had fun and all the jazz you think of when you remember things from when you were an ankle biter. Hazy summer evenings, bubble gum and trading cards... those sort of things. Now the place has turned into a chav infested shitpipe. And being away for two years it seems like it happened overnight. The place was slowly going to the dogs right before I left, but now... ARGH! Where did they come from? I'm sharing my street with the Enemy!

For those of you not in the know, a chav is, for lack of a better explanation, a pack animal. They're the people who sit on walls with cans of cider (coz it's well 'ard, innit) bragging about how cool they are because they stole daddy's cigarettes. A typical chav conversation might sound a little something like;

Chav A: Like, i's well fuckin' cold, aw, didja know, Raychawl totally fucked 'er mum's boyfren' innit blud.

Chav B: IS IT?

I hates them so. Stay in school kids. Not because you're going to learn anything. It's just the only place you won't see a chav.

I feel much better now ^_^

4 Comments:

Blogger Thomas said...

"Like, i's well fuckin' cold, aw, didja know, Raychawl totally fucked 'er mum's boyfren' innit blud."

huh?

4:38 AM  
Blogger Saru said...

Exactly ;)

8:13 PM  
Blogger Sparkle said...

"Well safe man, innit!"
"Brap!"
"Gonna, like, fuckin' bang you out! Right?"

These have to be three of the most popular phrases for chavs at my school... thats when they actually bother to turn up to school though.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Saru said...

That's the only good thing about them, that you don't have to spend half your day around them because they aren't there :p

8:28 PM  

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